I’ve been going back and forth with how I wanted to share my weight loss journey… it only feels right to begin when I was a kid. Every weight loss story starts some where… mine started here…
How cute is this?
During my younger elementary years, I wasn’t “overweight“. I loved to play outside, and generally was fed a healthy diet.
ACTIVE: I played outside a lot. I remember always wanting to go outside from the moment the sun came up. I loved summer time (even though its so dang hot here), playing anything from hide ‘n seek, kick ball, dodge ball or just running around like a silly little girl. It was so much fun.
DIET: I don’t recall my diet being terrible as a child. I really loved fruit, so I’d choose that over a chocolate cake any day. My mom cooked, and dinner was always spent around the dinner table. I remember HATING carrots… but the first time I tried carrots they were out of a can… yuck. Never do that to any child. Those things are nasty. I was never taught about making healthy choices though, in which I don’t believe my parents were ever taught either. Sodas and pizza were a Friday night staple in our lives and as a child you eat what you’re given.
Me vs. The Monkey Bars. Monkey Bars won.
Somewhere around 4th, 5th, 6th grades, playing outside wasn’t cool anymore… and junk food became more and more common and craved in my everyday life.
The middle school years were by far my least favorite years. I was so glad when they ended. When middle school began the pounds started to cling on to me. As a young girl you’re changing and quite aware of your “size”. Whatever size that may be. But when you’re a 12 year old girl and wearing a size 12, you start to realize you’re not like all the other middle school girls. Insecurities run high. You hear tons of girls, thin girls, say how “fat” they are. I started to think they had literally lost their minds… but then I thought, if they thought they were fat, then what am I? Huge.
Let me just say… I firmly believe that “FAT” is a state of mind.
You can be overweight and not fat. You can be thin and think you’re fat. Saying you are fat is a mind set, saying you are overweight is saying “I’m not staying like this forever”.
I have no idea how old I was here. Somewhere in that (12-14)age range
ACTIVE: Zero. None. Nada. Zilch! I never remember going outside and “playing” or even doing any sports activity at all. At our church youth group, everyone was always playing valley ball, basketball, etc. I always was too worried to jump in and play because I was the “big girl” and didn’t want to make a fool out of myself. Really I was a fool for not doing any physical activities.
This makes me sad.
DIET: Talk about terrible. I ate a lot. I ate because I was bored, I ate because I was happy, because I was sad, because I was mad, because I couldn’t figure out how to stop. I just ate. I remember sneaking food a lot. Especially after dinner. Say we had pasta (MY FAVORITE), after the family ate, I’d have to clean the kitchen, I’d always make myself another full serving and eat it when no one was watching. My gosh that’s so sad to admit, but its true. And heaven forbid if I got on hands on a bag of candy, pint of ice cream, it was over. Empty and gone in one sitting. Self-control did not exist. What was self control? I was a good kid, very good. Never got into the “bad crowd”, never drank, smoked, anything. I guess you could say food was my drug of choice. It made me feel (temporarily) good.
I never showed how sad I really was.
I was a very “happy” young teen. I smiled, I had awesome pretty friends, I never let on how badly I hated being in the body that I was in. I never let on how most nights I cried myself to sleep, because I truly hated being overweight. I thought I was ugly. I would get so mad at myself for not being able to be thin and pretty like all my friends. I’d pray “God please, this year, let me be thin”… I’m sure God was giving me opportunities to choose a healthier lifestyle… but when the choice came between making a healthy choice and eating a whole box of a cookies. Well, I chose to binge. Healthy, was something I was not. It was such a sensitive subject for me. One that could easily bring me to tears in front of my family or friends. I wasn’t a big cryer. I liked to be strong. But being overweight made me feel weak. I let my appearance hold me back on so many things. I believed all the lies I was telling myself.
I remember just being sad, with a great big smile.
Funny how we hide such things. Maybe, just maybe if during sad times in our lives we reached out to someone, we’d find the help we needed?
Click for Weight Loss Story – Part 2.
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wow. this really touched me. thanks for sharing
oh my gosh Sissy! this totally make me cry. Im so proud of you for sharing your story-this will bless so many and hopefully help them start their own journey to health! I love you!! and I am so happy for you!!
I was never taught how to eat either. My mom was always on some crazy diet so I just learned to diet. I used to sneak her diet pills when I was in middle school. Not.Good. I would watch what she did and do the same thing: apple cider vinegar diet? check. Grapefruit diet? check. Diet pills? check. check and check. So sad. I was pitifully thin and for no reason. I was so scared to be like her I would starve myself. We have to teach our children better.
Wow Ondrea, I had no idea you did those kind of diets. So dangerous. Like you said though, we were never taught how to live a healthy life. Definitely have to change that for our own kids. Thanks for sharing
Thanks for reading Tiffany
Aww thank you sissy!! Don’t make me cry
I love you too. Thanks for being you!
Thanks for sharing your story. I was overweight in middle school too – and in elementary school. Those were not fun years. I definitely remember having similar feelings of being different than all of the other girls.
I can’t wait to hear the rest of your story!
Kate @ Ordinary Girl, Extraordinary Journey recently posted..Super Bowl- etc
great story lauren. very inspiring.
i wasn’t taught healthy choices as a child either. although i didn’t end up really gaining weight until i was about 16-17 years old, it stayed with me until i finally understood nutrition and exercise at 24. it’s been 3 years since i’ve revamped my lifestyle, and i’m so glad i did. i love teaching others about nutrition and how YUMMY healthy foods can be!
hope you had a great super bowl weekend
Our family was not one for physical activity or healthy eating either. I really wonder if things would have turned out differently for me if my parents had encouraged sports or cooked healthier foods.
((hugs)) girl
Thank you for sharing. I can’t wait to read part 2.
Bari recently posted..LLRB 365- 2011 Week 5
wow. thanks for sharing this stuff. it’s very brave of you b/c i had the same issues in college that you had in adolecence. i was also pretty sad. kudos for getting active and healthy, because that is what is most important.
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Hey I stumbled on your website by mistake when i searched Yahoo for this topic, I need to express your website is actually valuable I also love the style, its awesome!
very inspiring! can’t wait for the next post! it’s amazing how much we never learn about nutrition and fitness growing up. at my “healthiest” weight in high school, i was 132 lbs and very athletic, but seriously, my diet consisted of no breakfast, a can of mt dew and a skor bar for lunch, and then whatever was leftover from dinner after i was done with whatever athletic sport i was involved with at the time. scarey to think what i consistantly did to my body, now that it’s been discovered i may have been a type 1 diabetic at the time, and it was never checked.
thank you for this
cher recently posted..Tears-Crying Can Be a Positive Thing in Battling Weightloss
You were an adorable child – love the little Lauren photos!
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I really don’t know what to say but “wow.” What a heartfelt and honest post. Thank you for being so open about a very private topic. You told your story very well.
I love the line about reaching out in sad times. Boy, that’s a lesson I’ve learned recently. It’s hard to admit that we are sad, even when it is okay to be. But God puts good people in our lives to BE the body of Christ for us. We need to allow them to minister to us when we need it.
Can’t wait for the next installment of your story!
What adorable childhood pictures! Thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s not often that we think all the way back to our kid years to understand our current relationship with food & our own self-image. I can’t wait to hear the rest of the story..
AmandaD recently posted..610 West Loop
can’t wait to see the rest of the story. I think more of us identify with you than you realize
RunToTheFinish recently posted..Body Confusion
Your story is my story….and so many other women I’m sure. I’m still getting to the point where I’m not sneaking snacks and watching my portion sizes. So happy to see a woman who overcame it all (and tried/failed at fad diets) and realizes that eating clean and consistently challening yourself physically is the ONLY way to lose weight and keep it off! I’ve weighed over 200 lbs and am now at 160lbs. I hope to lose a bit more, but I never want to go back to that unhealthy person I was before. I’m still struggling with the food choices and portions but you’re story is giving me an awesome boost today! You look amazing and I’m happy to be following a fellow Houstonian!